ABOUT JULIE FAST

I spent most of my life looking at other people just knowing that their lives were better than mine. No matter where I went, I was never happy. Never. I always felt "wrong" as though people had some secret to life that someone forgot to tell me. It was so odd how my thinking worked. Even if I had been out with a group of friends the night before, the next night if I was alone and saw a group of people I'd think, "I never get to go out with people and be happy like that." And I would listen to these thoughts!

I couldn't see that they were so completely unreasonable and distorted. I didn't know that this was a very typical sign of depression. I didn't know that an illness could change my thoughts and feelings like this. The Health Cards changed everything for me. When I started to recognize the signs of depression and how to treat these signs from the very beginning, I was able to see that it wasn't me that was the problem. It was depression. I still have the thoughts when I'm stressed, but I now know how to deal with them. I know the thoughts simply mean that I'm getting sick. It's nothing personal and there's nothing wrong with my life. I just have to treat depression first.

I swore that if I ever found a solution for ending the hold depression had on my life for over 18 years I would make it available to others so that people wouldn't have to go through what I went through. The Health Cards System for Depression is the result of my years of work on ending depression. If I can stop the hold depression has on my life, you can too. I had major depressive (and psychotic) episodes on and off from 1982 until I created this program in 1999. I tried over 23 medications and though they helped my symptoms, I couldn't tolerate the side effects. I had depressive hallucinations for years at a time and simply didn't know what they were. I had a lot of anger and irritation problems as well as attention and focus problems. Medicines really can work miracles, but as I couldn't tolerate them I knew I had to find other options or I would be dead.

In 1998 I went out on my own and looked for alternative treatments for depression. I found help through a naturopathic doctor, a therapist who understood depression and tried body work including yoga, massage and chiropractic work. I got a bit better, but the depression still had a very strong hold on my mind.

One day I realized that my depression followed a pattern and had always followed a pattern. No matter where I lived, who I was with or what I was doing, the depression was the same. This made me think that if the depression was always the same, then I must not be the problem. (This was quite a revolutionary thought as I had spent over 15 years going to therapists to deal with my issues.) I finally realized that maybe my self esteem was fine. Maybe my intelligence and kindness, my ability to work and my ability to get things done were fine as well. Maybe the problem was that I had an illness that affected how I saw myself and then affected what I could actually do. I thought to myself: What if I stopped all the journal writing, worrying, thinking, obsessing, searching and yearning for something more and just treated depression as an illness that happens to have very emotional and psychologically APPEARING symptoms? What if I could separate myself from the illness and treat it as something separate from who I am?

This was the start of the Health Cards and it worked. Within one year my depression was cut in half. Now almost five years later I can say that I control depression instead of it controlling me. I still get sick. I still get depressed. I still have to take medications during the tough times and just deal with the side effects. It's a genetic, biological illness and that's a fact in my life, but I don't stay sick for long and I now know how to stop even the most severe depressive episode. You can learn to do the same. Today, because of the Health Cards System for Depression I have my life back. I repaired my relationships and learned to keep my friends. I can work again (within my limitations!) and I actually enjoy my life! I know that the Health Cards can help you as well.

Julie Fast
2006